Day 3: Macy's madness and ahoy, Aveda!

I had been planning for and looking forward to Day 3 for over a week. It was to be the crowning glory in all of Staycay history! Like most expectations, however, it didn't turn out to be quite all that.

I got my annual physical last week and was sent home with a lab slip to do the usual 10-hour fasting blood test. Since last week was nuts with work and I knew this week was going to be all about the free time, I figured I'd get up bright and early Monday morning and get it over with.

But, see, I have this thing about Zona Rosa burritos. I have since I visited the Bay Area in 1991 (back then there was one on Telegraph in Berkeley, too) and then moved here a couple years later. It was my first Northern Cali silver tube burrito, and it spawned a love affair that's been going on for 20 years and counting. Unfortunately, Honey Bunny hates ZR. So, I started this tradition of getting a ZR tube on my days off, weekend days that Honey Bunny is out of town, etc. No occasion is too small or weird for a ZR tube. I knew that I had to have one on my first official Day Off. Right?

Now let's revisit the car issue. Honey Bunny took mine to his shop to fix after work, and left me with his car. His words as he left for the day: "I might need a ride home after work if your car is really screwed or we need to wait for parts." This meant I needed to be free as of 5pm.

As I got out of bed at 10am, I realized my leisurely and luxurious original schedule for the day of shower/get purdy, Macy's bonanza, Aveda facial, and then maybe more Macy's or perhaps Nordstrom??, was not going to happen as planned. I needed to also fit in a blood test (and I was starving) and get a burrito/bring it home/eat and enjoy it, brush my teeth and then get my buns to Union Square in an old, slow Volvo. I knew I wanted to allocate three hours to shopping, and that the given in this plan was my facial appointment at 3pm. I was overwhelmed trying to figure out how to make it all work, so what did I do? I zoned out and went on Facebook. Yeah. We all know how this story ends...

Of course in retrospect it's easy to see how I could have made it all work, but what can I say... I was in one of those rare I Have So Much Free Time I Don't Know How to Manage It moments. We should all be so lucky. In the end, I postponed the blood test, showered and made the burrito happen (yummers!), and got to Macy's Women's Department by 1:30pm.

You may have gasped earlier when I said I wanted a solid three hours at Macy's. Lemme explain something. When you're a plus-size gal, any in-person shopping you can do is a boon. Most folks have a Lane Bryant somewhere nearby, or maybe an Avenue, but other than that you're screwed. If you want access to anything else, it pretty much has to be done online.

The women's dept at Macy's Union Square is an entire quarter of one of their seven floors. They don't just carry their usual Style & Co, INC International Concepts, Charter Club and Alfani lines, like most Macy's women's departments. They carry designer stuff, too! They have Studio M (aka Max Studio), Calvin Klein, Lauren by Ralph Lauren, AK Anne Klein, MICHAEL Michael Kors, Tommy Hilfiger, and Eileen Fisher. It's like the freakin' Holy Land for fat women who want some options. The first time I went there, I spent five hours. I'm not kidding. You should have seen my dressing room. I think I dropped about $250 that first time. And, the great thing about Macy's is that your $250 can be stretched like chewing gum, even if you're buying Calvin or Michael.

Knowing I only had about an hour to spend on shopping before I had to head over to the spa, I concentrated on finding a nice spa robe that I could bring and use at Aveda that day but also for my various other spa experiences. One of the other lovely things about being fat is that spa robes (and paper gowns at the doctors office) never fit. Long ago I started asking for two spa robes -- put the first one on backwards, then the second one on regular. You look like you just stepped out of a spa on Tatooine but it works.

Ok, downside of Macy's Union Square: they don't offer women's sizes in the Intimates department other than bras, massive panties and girdles. The closest spa robe I could find was a size XL that fit around if I stretched it and held it in place. I know what you're thinking. They offer Eileen Fisher in the women's dept... pretty much every single thing in her line fits like a big, ridiculous, sail-like linen robe... why not grab something there? Well, for starters each of her pieces start at about $160. How that's possible for a bunch of shapeless bullshit, I don't know. How I ended up surrounded by women who adore Eileen Fisher to the point where they schedule work meetings so that they're nearby the Eileen Fisher Outlet and can go shopping together after said meetings, I also don't know. I hate that clothing line. Nay, I loathe that clothing line.

Oh well, I'd be heading to Aveda sans robe and would have to make do. Wouldn't be the first time. Note to self: find giant spa robe online and buy it.

As it turns out, an hour was fine for not finding a robe and for also not finding much to try on. They don't really have much of their Fall stuff out yet, and for whatever reason most of those crazy, prolific sales and clearance racks were not on the floor. I did have to resign myself to coming back after the spa visit to try stuff on (if I didn't have to pick up Honey Bunny). The sales lady was awesome and said she'd hold my try-ons in a locked dressing room. I'll save you the suspense and tell you now that Honey Bunny called to say my car was fixed, cheaply and easily at that, and I returned to Macy's to try on a few nice things, most of which were Calvin Klein and a hair too small. I purchased just one INC International Concepts top that was on clearance for $16.98. Better than nothing!

I discovered the Aveda Cinta Institute Salon & Spa purely by online accident. I think I was looking for Aveda certified salons in San Francisco, and it popped up as an option. I'm no stranger to getting cheap haircuts at cosmetology schools, having had my hair done at my local community college from ages 7-16. I read mixed reviews on Yelp in regards to ACI's salon services and so gave some thought to having a facial done. I've never had one before, and Staycay is supposed to be all about pampering, and, honestly, how bad could students screw up a facial? An idea was born and an appointment was made.

The Institute is pretty nice. They don't have robes there... it's more like one of those shower wrap thingies with an elastic band and velcro. I was very worried it wasn't gonna fit and almost asked if I could have another (so I could fashion two together, to make one larger wrap), but it fit. I just put the opening in the back since I'd be laying face up on the table.

My girl was so small. There was a point where she did a hand massage and I could feel her hands were about half the size of mine. It's a trippy feeling. I've always preferred for my massage therapists to be of the more strapping variety, and I pretty much now feel the same about any future facialists if they are also doing foot, shoulder and hand massages.

I spent a large part of the facial feeling a bit like I was in the dentist's chair (see: study skin; you could pick me up and I'd be as rigid as a board because I was so tense). Not because it hurt, but just because it was so unfamiliar. Each time I visit the dentist, I have to make a conscious effort to unclench my body every, oh, 10 seconds. It was no different here. There was whale music, even! WTF? Just as it can be weird to get a massage by someone you don't feel a vibe with, it was odd to be worked on by my girl who was a little clinical at the outset. Well, it was odd only until she saw my wedding ring and asked how long I'd been married and that segued into talking about the show Bethenny Getting Married? and Bethenny Frankel in general. Hurray! Other than the occasional convo with my BFF, I never get to talk chick TV shop with anyone. We had a great time talking about the shows and about our lives, and I relaxed and finally started to feel that awesome scalp-tingly thing that happens when I'm getting body work done, and the rest of the facial just flew by.

If you're wondering, the facial consisted of a foot bathing, a hand massage with hella lotion, makeup removal, an examination of my skin in one of those scary 2000x or whatever close-up mirrors, followed by my girl making recommendations about the two treatments she wanted to give me. An instructor came in at that point and had to approve the treatments or tweak them as necessary. My girl was on the money about what she wanted to do based on my skin type and issues, and so we got started. First she did the Botanical Skin Resurfacing treatment, which is Aveda's version of microderm abrasion. We actually started talking about Bethenny by the end of the BSR so I have no idea what she did next but it was nice. She brushed on a cold gel that smelled very botanical and let it sit for about five minutes, then took it off. After that, I got dressed and she took me to the makeup counter where she applied about a pound of mineral-based foundation but otherwise very light eye shadow, mascara, blush and lip gloss.

I left with $50 worth of skin care products that I'm thinking of returning. Honey Bunny finds that trademark Aveda smell so offensive, he has not wanted to kiss me in the last couple days because he can smell it on my skin. Honestly, I don't love the smell, either. Scent can be highly evocative for me, and this is no exception. My year at HSU, especially walking anywhere near Campus Cuts, tainted me. Everyone used Aveda. Everyone!

I do love the way my skin has looked since the treatment and after using the toner and moisturizer for a couple days, though, so who knows... maybe we will learn to deal with that smell.